happy ending

so i thought i would tell a few tales from my massage table...i have more than this but not enough time today.
i have done massaging at a chiropractor's office and then also i do house calls... (no happy endings...i am not that kind of asian massage therapist)

jumping right in:

i was massaging these hockey players and i was setting up my table...so i shook out my fitted sheet and yes out dropped a pair of my underwear that had static clinged to the inside just waiting to humiliate me....i now wash my sheets by themselves.

boners...nuff said.

this one creepy character i saw at the chiro office: told me he was trying to be a casanova (he used the word casanova).... he was reading books on picking up ladies...he told me that he went to barnes and noble to test out his flirting techniques.... so he told me how he would carry a piece of lint in his pocket and pretend to take it off a girls shirt to start a conversation. he said the trick to getting a girl interested was to give them a compliment and then put them down... like...you have a nice smile but your breath stinks...well anyways...he told me he likes asians with long hair...lucky me...i cut my hair that week..
**further description of said casanova: he didn't shower or use deodorant, he had long dandruffy hair, he drove a turquoise astro van, and lived with his mom...he wore two pairs of sweatpants at the same time and a purple snake print shirt with a black turtleneck underneath every time i ever saw him...which was once a week for two months...oh and he made abstract paintings that he sold on ebay...

the dad of the dr whose chiropractor office i worked at was the worst of the sexually suggestive men i ever massaged. he told me he would take me on the road with him(he was a truck driver)..he said he would be my sugar daddy, that he would buy me cute lil outfits. he said that he had massages in japan and he thinks that he wished we were there...

farts...nuff said

one lady told me her husband beats her, and in the next breath told me how loving her husband is...she told me she cant think and talk at the same time cuz its distracting...i found out later when i hadn't seen her in a while that she was in pine rest.

one lady sat upright in the middle of the massage and showed me her boobs and asked if i thought she needed a boob job...then proceeded in moving them around for me to see how floppy they were...

one old lady the whole time would say, "oh yeah" "thats the spot" she was over 80...

i'll leave you with that mental picture..

done. buy me candy.

ps. blog topic suggestions are welcome