2.26.2010

what a luxurious mustache you have...the better to tickle you my dear

hairy women.

yes.  women that have excess amount of hair....

take care of it!

especially when it comes to hairy faces... TAKE CARE OF IT!  i mean... its on your face!  can't you see it?

a great example of this is mary mustache who worked at mongolian bbq... i do not know her last name... because she is called mary mustache.  she was a cute/decent looking girl... skinny... brown hair....a complete sweetheart....cept for her 'stache... it was brown like her hair... and it was noticable... it was like a mexican boy's mustache... like... one that a 8-12 yr old mexican boy has.  i was hosting at mongo... and as i took these people to their table they did a double take... and the dude whispered to me... did that girl have a mustache?....how did she not notice her mustache????? seriously?  its in the middle-ish of her face?  (no i didn't change her name...its mary)

there is this lady at my church... and she has a goatee... well... its not a full goatee... its patchy... but there.  i do not completely blame this woman... she has like 7 kids... and a husband... any of them should have told her that she has a friggin hairy face and to stop shaming the family.  honestly she was also very nice.

ok... every woman... cept for strippers, amazingly good wives, and pampered women, and women in a new relationship  do not shave/wax their legs as much as they should in the colder months...but... if their legs are gonna be on display then they should de-hair them.

oh! eyebrows... also on your face... and really can make or break your look.  you can look like a hairy hose-beast with one eyebrow... or... u can look... well... as good as you are gonna look but with nice eyebrows (i couldn't say good... cuz some people have ugly faces no matter what they do) um....yeah... nuff said... if you need tips on eyebrow grooming... find a blog about eyebrows

ok... to a sensitive subject....the badger....(i like to call it a badger)  i feel like as long as if you are wearing a bathing suit and you cannot tell how you are groomed underneath it is your own business... but if you CAN... shame shame shame on you.  i dont care... its between you and your bedpartner if your badger is a hairless newborn... or a badger with a stylin' do...just make sure it can be concealed under your bathing suit with no-scragglers (yes i just said scragglers)

i think that honestly this is just nit-picking now... but... i think hairy hands and feet are also disgusting.  if someone was to only see your hand or foot they should be able to tell if you have a hotdog or a badger in your pants.

done.
i have to buy nylons...i'm gonna call them tights so that they dont seem so gross....nylons are gross.

2.02.2010

it all boils down to politics...

i hate hate hate politics.
i hate watching the  news..... but... of course... i married a man who friggin lives and dies for politics... he watches the news, reads newspapers, reads internet news, listens to npr......yeah... hes a grown ass man... its bizzaro.
well... since i wanted to return my tank top i ordered that made me look like an overstuffed sausage... i had to go to the store... which means i had to use the car... and of course on the radio... at like.. volume level "super duper loud" was npr.
and on npr was the debate of "dont ask dont tell" policy... and if it should basically be renewed or not.
ok... and here is where i trudge into unsafe territory... even more unsafe than my rant about fluffy people.
i think that the dont ask dont tell policy is stupid.
the dude...i dunno like a congressman or something was talking about how he thinks that they should keep up the stupidness because it would make people terribly uncomfy in their barracks or showers... cuz a gay person/transgender/or hermaphrodite may be looking at their weenies, or vaginas....
are you friggin serious???? this man brought up the transgender and hermaphrodite thing in particular because he felt that they were the biggest wierdos that should be avoided at all costs.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?! i mean... COME ON!
i would rather have someone who has like one vagina, three testicles, and a monkey tail  fighting for their country cuz they believe in the freedoms that our country is supposed to stand for... than a man with one penis and two balls who lies to his constituents... and wife... while he spends our tax dollars and makes our laws...
it infuriates me that the preference of penis or vagina can make people so idiotic.
someone with a penis who wants to be with someone with a penis... does not want to have sex with everyone else with a penis.  i mean... there are those horny beasts in the world who want to have sex with everyone and everything... but...if you drop the soap... someone will not stick something in your bunny because they are gay.
i am a straight woman...i do not want to have sex with every man i see... because i prefer penis...i do not want every penis... why in the world would you think a man who prefers penis wants every penis in the world?  especially a penis that is attached to a horrible human being who judges people on what they do in the privacy of their bedrooms... or...bathrooms... or well.. ok.. wherever they have sex.
you know what? straight people do crazy sexual things too...
it makes me kinda crazy that people feel like we need a law to stifle who someone can be open to love.  its not even like people would have to talk about it constantly... like it would maybe be on your registration papers...or whatever they are called...its not like your fatigues would need to have a rainbow patch on it.... like... when meeting a person... you dont instantly say... hey... i like having sex with _____(fill in the blank) you be around someone every day and not ever talk about your sexual prefrences... thats basically what happens in a office....
for the military....i feel like as long as you dont fill in the blank with "machine guns" or "atom bombs" it should be fine.
is it the fact that people dont want to give money to pay for a gay person to lay down their lives for them?  cuz thats stupid too... if you hate gay people that much...than let them be in the military cuz they will be farther away from your idiotic ass...your idiotic ass that they would never ever wanna have sex with.
its soooooo stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am kinda getting a lil worked up over this subject... and honestly i can go on for way longer about this.  i should prolly sum it up... cuz thats what people do at the end of a rant... and a sermon for that matter.
people are people they do what they do... let them do it....unless its evil.  dont let some old rich white asshole make up rules that hurt people who are good. save your fights for real evils in life...cuz here are real evils in life that need to be fought.

done.
banana cream pie.

for the love of syphillis...

so i cannot stand the broads on those finding love shows... but i absolutely love knowing who they pick in the end... and if they stayed together (the answer is always no they did not... but...i still wanna know)

so i was thinking... uh... do all these people have stds?  i mean... they have to...rite?  cuz they dude is always a man whore... who gets around with very skeezy ho bags... there is no way that they dont all have genital warts...at least the clap...

and its always the same house for most of the shows... like the tila tequila one and rock of love....so there must be a fine dusting of crabs on the furniture.

i guess i haven't really been in the dating/wheres my underwear scene for over six yrs or so... but... i feel like... everyone must have aids by now... i mean... even the people who say they are virgins are still usually trading some kind of special handshake...

well i really dunno whats going on out there these days... but i feel like before you become humping buddies with someone you should at least spray some lysol on their crotch...i dunno if that would even help... but... it mite stop the spread of h1n1.
done.
sour cream and cheddar chips vs doritos...which give you worse breath?