charlie sheen is the root of all evil.

just on the news... they did a segment on how the president killed a fly during an interview. on cnn. (yes i made a sentence of 'on cnn' because it is intolerable that a news station dignified itself with this garbage)

this is a perfect example of why other countries hate us.
how idiotic... self indulgent...silly...and superficial....
there are other things going on in the world. IMPORTANT THINGS. i dont care if the president took a shit on a fly during an interview. i want to know what he is doing to better the country. if the news is trying to tell me that he is ridding the world of annoying bugs... then i may be slightly interested. but only slightly....because it has nothing to do with anything of value.

things that should be on the news: epidemics, floods, fires, mass murderers, world events, wars, things that involve more than a hundred people...
basically you get the idea. things that are actually news. pretty self explanatory...you would think.

since 'journalists' dont seem to have a clue what news is. i will explain what is NOT news... and what they have been getting americans to think is news.

for starters: news is not about one man and a bug. he is the president... granted... but... he isn't a god... he is an elected official... who is there to finish the executive part of legislature... he isn't even who runs this country....its a democracy... WE THE PEOPLE.... less we forget.
ok... now... also... another thing involving the president that isn't news: the president's family getting a pet. RIDICULOUS. these things should be saved for youtube or... anything on the 'e' channel.
anything starting with 'speidi' or spencer and heidi... isn't the news.... or really any other mentally degenerate couple. ie: bennifer, brangelina, lindsay lohan and her crabs.... unless they go on a killing spree, or die... oh please let them die... they shouldn't be on the news.

i mean...really shouldnt we be embarrased of our news channels?...
i mean americans should already be ashamed that someone let a walking cesspool named 'new york' be on our television....

if i wanna watch innane ridiculous stories about accidental celebs... i turn on 'e' or 'bravo' or 'vh1'
i do not turn on cnn... ok... to be honest... i dont turn on cnn anyways... paul does... but... thats besides the point.

stuff like this fly story make people say, 'huh...slow news day...' but the fact of the matter is...
IT SHOULD NEVER BE A SLOW NEWS DAY. there is always something of importance going on. ex) the war! we have americans in another country fighting for us... and they will maybe mention a tiny blurb about this at the end... like... sargent someone's mom says happy b-day....yet they spend 15 minutes blabbing about how the president has ninja like bug killing skills.... and then something about peta's reaction.
(let me pause to let loose on another tangent... PETA GET OVER YOURSELVES. animals are food. yes torturing animals is wrong. but... they are food...so... get over it.)
people are losing thier jobs, civil liberties are being infringed upon, inflation is growing and paris hilton is looking for a new bff damnit....

ugh... i cannot even complete a thought about this whole topic cuz i start getting annoyed with closely related topics and i get carried away into randomness.

ok. what i have to say is.

done. where did the rest of my gin and tonic go?


i told you so. (random tidbits)

* in any television show featuring talking animals there is always a dog that doesn't talk...
* every kids show has an episode about hiccups...
* people somehow think it is ok to go up to you and touch your kids and talk to them and tell you they are cute....but no one thinks its ok to just go up to adult strangers and start touching them if you think they are cute.
* there is always someone at any event that will talk too close to your face...usually with coffee breath.
* without fail if you are out at a restaurant with a bunch of people who have been servers... you will have a crappy or sub par server....if you on a very rare occasion have a great server it may never happen again.
* if you are really trying to be careful about not spilling...you will find a stain on your clothes that you don't know how it got there.
* if you are unshowered, have sweatpants on, and or just look worse than you have ever looked...you will see someone you know.
* any time after you break up with someone you want to have a better life than your ex... no matter what... even if you broke up on good terms...you want to have a hotter new gf or bf.. you wanna have a better job, better house, you wanna get married and have kids first and if you do... you win... the wierd old relationship contest...also... something that helps you win is if your ex gets fat, ugly, or poor...a combo of all three is preferred
* fat girls love being pregnant cuz now they have an excuse for stuffing thier fat bellies
* most comedies where a man works his way into being a better person, he mistakes a fat girl as a pregnant girl...and/or he mistakes a old lady for a man
* most moms/grandmas can make a casserole outta anything by using a can of cream of mushroom soup
* no potluck is complete without: meatballs and cheesy potatoes...(some familys may substitute cocktail weenies in bbq sauce and potato salad)
* with same sex twins there is always an ugly one/fat one. no matter what...one will at some time be referred to as 'the ugly one' or 'the fat one'
* coming outta the closet has become such a production...thats dumb. you're gay or straight... who cares. ok so people care... but they really shouldn't...it shouldn't matter to anyone but the person they are trying to have sex with.
* there are too many cherry flavored suckers in a bag of suckers...this is my personal opinion... all the rest of these things are facts....
* all asian candy is peach flavored.
* saying 'in bed' after your fortune from your fortune cookie... is just tacky and obnoxious.
* men should maintain their eyebrows, ear hair, nosehair and nether region hair... but should never ever talk about it.
* pepsi is better than coke... unless it is coke from mcdonalds... their coke is unbelievable...
* there is no reason your underpants should show while wearing pants. (i am including pantylines)
* where the hell do those ghetto boys get those huge white t-shirts? seriously they are sooo huge! i personally think they wear them that big because during interrogations (on t.v....like the first 48) they put thier arms inside of thier shirts.(this drives me nuts and i dunno why)
* other people's kids are ugly and annoying. (besides the ones that i think are cute) but seriously... most people's kids... eh...

done. stop biting your nails.


scam... or... best invention ever ever?

i love infomercials and home shopping network. love them. i get sucked in and if i dont realise it i can watch them for like an hour....

now for a personal side note:

i just purchased... 'strap perfect' because i felt like i needed them in my life. they are these lil plastic things for brassiere straps. i didn't get them from tv. i got them from target....but i have been coveting them off the televison for quite some time now. i am not disappointed.... they do in fact do what the commercial promised that they would do.

ok. now... to tell of all the things off infomercials and hsn that i want/need/prolly will never ever buy cuz i dont really need it(specific names are not...uh....specific)

1. debbie something green bags... my produce wishes that i owned these.
2. ultra smooth hair remover things... uh... i'm not a super hairy person but still they seem kinda neat... also i am kinda scared of these cuz i imagine it to be just sandpaper...
3. point and paint...i feel like this looks extreemly easy and wonderful... i have nothing that needs painting...but i feel that i could find something just so i could use this...
4. oh my goodness i just thought about that one ladder that used to always be on tv. like that you could use on the stairs and stuff and it was just amazing. i could use one or two of these for all my ladder needs...which are... uh... many....(seriously since i was like in my early teens i have been drawn to this ladder...i am not kidding)
5. oooohhhh that one drill thing that helps you take out rusty screws and things...fascinating....
6. that stuff that fixes scratches in your glasses....i clearly don't wear glasses...but...
7. that mineral makeup that seems to miraculously make you look amazing...it disturbs me how that one fat chick keeps piling on more and more of the makeup...but... i gotta say... her face doesn't look half bad when she's done...
8. the jack something juicer....i mean...he puts a whole friggin apple in there...and like veggies and some how it tastes good and just leaves like a tsp of pencil shavings after its done... it just is too incredible...
9. the food dehydrator.... uh... dried fruit? delicious! any veggie in a chip form...delicious and nutritous!
10. i saw this like full length mirror that you can open up and its a jewelry box....why is this not in my life???

ok... i think thats enough of my 'wants' for now...

here are some things that i think no one should ever buy:

1. a snuggie: go to your closet...find your robe... and put it on backwards....really are blankets that hard to handle? if they are hard for you to use then you are stupid.
2. bendaroos: wax covered wires for your kid to play with?!?! seriously?!?!
3. i saw a house that had one of those upsidedown planters hanging from thier porch....(its on kalamazoo between 52nd and 60th if you wanna take a look) it looks super ridiculous. if you really think this is something you need hang it in your backyard. it isn't cute.
4. those water globe things for plants: if you can't water your plants buy plastic ones. those globes are about as decoratively beautiful as those gazing balls people put in thier front yards.... seriously why do people like those? cuz they look like a bowling ball in a bird bath.

here is another funny you tube thing...(slap chop...modified)

ok.. i dont feel like typing anymore.

done. go fly a kite.