10.14.2010

dear crotch-face,

dear lady in the white impala: sorry that i swerved around you to not hit you when you slammed on your brakes....i am saying sorry because for some reason you really wanted me to pull up next to you while you pull out your weave, and flail around and cuss me out...I went outta my way to NOT hit you! good grief... also... i had my kids in the car... so i decided to not pull up to chat.
ps. suck it.

done.
sorry that you had to read my harsh ps.

10.06.2010

"how rude!" -stephanie tanner

oh my grapes i am so agitated!

the close minded should not read any further... they may already be pissed i took grapes name in vain.

jumping in... now:

if someone is dressed in drag... or in a movie where they are homosexual... does not mean they are gay.  and if they are gay... who the hell cares.
being a gay man doesn't necessarily mean the man is feminine... and vice versa... just because a woman is a lesbian doesn't mean she is a handsome woman...if you catch my drift...there may be fashion trends that are more popular in different groups of friends... but...don't be dumb.
i have repeatedly said this... but... honestly it needs to be said more... if someone is gay it does not mean they are overly sexual... it doesn't not mean that if you are a man...every gay man wants to have sex with your butt... and if you are a woman...lesbians are not sexual predators of all woman....that is soooo incredibly idiotic!  i am a straight woman... i do not want to have sex with every man in the world... far from that in fact. why would the sex you prefer mean you are either a normal human who is attracted to good looking people who have rad personalities.... or a raging sexual predator who wants to fuck everyone with the genitalia that they prefer.
people who are so far up their butts have made all this ridiculous propaganda and it needs to be addressed more often.  gay marriage is addressed more these days because its in the news... but the whole fear and ignorance behind why its not accepted isn't called out enough... why in the world do people need to put labels on someone... and why is it sooooo necessary for everyone to be put in a category of some sort...
wanna know why its necessary... because Americans elect people constantly that make it so the government gives and takes according to the category that people are in... and if they don't fit in the category... they get nothing.  the close minded religious have made it their duty to categorize the probability of access to heaven...and have decided that certain people just are lost causes that are completely not allowed into Gods arms regardless ...but need to be preached at and degraded into submission.
marriage....in general isn't decided by a jury/panel of random peers... there are plenty of straight couples that shouldn't be together and you know it... you even have wanted to tell plenty of straight couples that its not gonna work... they should break up... and try over....you have wanted to tell plenty people who they should be with instead of the a-hole they are with....(that never works by the way....unless the outcome you wanted was to lose a friend)  that being said... there are plenty of gay couples that have no business being together either... with every relationship gay or straight there is the possibility of abuse, neglect or indifference... but... come'on... i am naive enough and happy enough to say... that if someone finds who the belong with... let them belong eachother.  it wont effect your relationship... it wont make your marriage any less real...i promise...so is it a threat??? i mean... honestly...are they taking away from straight people who are married??? if you think that gay marriage is... what about divorced people they canceled their marriage....doesn't that detract more from marriage's value than kim and sue or jason and derek tying the knot?  (do not get me wrong i do not have a major malfunction towards divorce i am using it clearly as an example)  i think the only thing that people should be concerned with, in regards to weddings is:
1. do not make your guests sing or recite things...
2. do not make your bridal party spend hundreds/thousands of dollars on you and your day
3. do not let anyone make really long toasts with inside jokes in them
4. do not make it boring/too long...(the remedy to this one is... DO NOT HAVE A DRY WEDDING)
so yeah...if you are gay or straight and are gonna do the opposite of any of these rules... do not invite me to your wedding....cuz i will hate it... and in response kinda hate you a lil bit.
ok back to the subject...
people get uppity about this stuff cuz it involves religion.. and even more personal...politics!!  (that was me being clever...if you didn't notice)
i am not going to get further into this actually because i do not think i am a religious or political authority...i love God... and i love freedom... and i LOVE candy....thats enough.
ok... slightly veering from the subject... onto more deviance i suppose....this time a shorter rant...
tattoos.
tattoos do not make you overly sexual either.  lol... ok i know that seems kinda out in left field... but... honestly... having a tattoo doesn't make a person a saddist...i am kinda explaining that if  you can see part of someones tattoo... you shouldn't ask... "how far down does that go..." or..."do you have tattoos in other places that you can't see"  honestly... i have compared it to asking someone what color their nipples are... its rude....and lots of times its creepy.  people express themselves in so many fricken ways... that are never questioned... well... outloud that is... like... oh... she cut her hair short... "how do you style your pubic hair?" ....oh he is wearing oversized shorts,"do you have abnormally large testes?"  i think that it is safe to say that people that get tattoos want to do something interesting for themselves.... it is not safe to say that everyone that has a tattoo wants you to see them naked....and NO this is not a rant based on something that has happened to me....no one has asked me this... and i have a butt tattoo and everyone has seen it... and i will show almost everyone it if they asked...but... this is one thing that i am reserved about... the meaning behind tattoos... i rarely tell people the meaning behind my tattoos... and i rarely ask people theirs...  you should think about that... sometimes its really personal and/or a long story that doesn't pertain to anyone that would ask... usually when asked i outright lie.

i am tired of ranting... the anger and restrictions that are needlessly spilled out these days is stupid.  seriously stupid.
if you disagree with me... i will gladly debate this with you.

done.
minute maid orangeade is so great (3% orange juice) :)

invasion of the teeth snatchers

uh... i dunno bout you... but... just walking into the dentist... the sounds the smells... it makes my blood pressure skyrocket.
so... yeah... yesterday... friday the 17th of september.... was one of those dreaded trips... and prolly the most dreaded of all trips i have ever taken to the dentist.
so i walked in... wrote my name down...and smiled shyly at the people sitting next to me in the waiting room... you know... what you do when you approach a waiting room.
then as i was looking thru the super wrinkly and un-appealing magazine selection... my name was called... uh... well... "rebecca clark" was called... i refuse to go by rebecca in most situations...cuz its a pilgrim name...
ok... so they brought me back to operatory room #2...honestly... nothing good can happen in an operatory room in a dentist office.... they sat me down in the dusty blue dentist chair(the color was a dusty blue... it didn't have dust on it...just to clarify) ... and... took my blood pressure... i cannot imagine that anyone has good blood pressure while sitting in this chair... but... yeah... whatever...
then i sat and waited for the dentist... while watching... street court on tv... which basically made me hate people... and then a gentleman and his wife walked back...and past my door... um... then i hear him yelling... "OH MY HEAD!!!!! OHHHH NOOOOOO!!!! OHHHH!!!!".... awesome...
then... he was walked over to the xray rooms... and his wife was taking pictures of him while he was getting teeth xrays... so... weird... and obnoxious....finally they left....
then the dentist came in... he described things.... but mostly the stuff that stuck out in my head was... "quite a few shots in your cheeks and gums...that will be uncomfortable..." and... "yeah.... you will need something stronger than tylenol... we will hook you up... you will be in a bit of pain...(while wincing)"...so... another polite smile...masking my horror... while they reclined my chair....
it begins....
"ok first we are gonna numb the whole top of your mouth... this is going to include some shots in your gums... that will be painful."-dr p  "mmmmhey"-me...his hands were in my mouth.
so yeah... six or eight shots later...."ok we will let that soak in... and be back... to numb your bottom of the mouth... and then take out your top teeth".....great something to look forward to....
street court was on tv... ridiculous... then...how i met your mother was on tv... a show i have never watched before...not too bad...i guess...well before he walked back in to pillage my mouth... i took a lil glance behind me and saw... yes... at least 20 different plier thingies in those sterile paper/plastic bag things.... at least 20... and a try of lots of sharp things... and needles and clear bottles...i may have had a slight stroke....but wouldn't have known cuz my face felt super droopy/drooly from the novicane.
ok... so... he came back and shoved things in my gums to make sure they were for real numb... then numbed the bottom jaw... and then started with the crunching and pulling and yanking of teeth.. top ones.. not to bad... bottom ones..................ummmmmmmm.....i thought he was gonna rip my jaw off... like...seriously... he even mentioned i may wanna hold onto my jaw so it doesn't get pulled too far... HOLY FUCK. yup.  hurty.  and then... uh... because of one of my teeth being "difficult to extract" he was like... i have to use this thing... its kinda noisy... and because i have dilusions of being a standup comic when in pain... i was like... oh... my kids are kinda noisy i'm used to it... so.. yeah... "the kinda noisy thing"=a drill.  fucking balls...intense.  yes... drilling and blood spatter... resulting in having to have a bunch of stitches...
well finally its done... and i asked him if i had any teeth left... and he laughed and said yes... i left quite a few in there still... i told him that i didn't wanna scare people with my jackolantern face and he promised me that you couldn't even tell...
a girl came in and wiped my face... like... intensely... so i'm guessing i looked like someone who had a bunch of teeth ripped and drilled outta their face...
uh... so yeah... i feel like i have learned a few lessons from this horror story.
1.  be put out for teeth extractions... its intense... and you dont wanna know how rough they are... unless you like it rough.....but i do not when it comes to teeth rape.
2.  try not to get mouth stitches caught in any other teeth cuz they will rip out... and not only will it hurt like a mother f-er but it will also feel like a spider is in your mouth which is creepy.
3.  chewing with my bunny teeth is never gonna be the same... i loathe dentists.
4. never ever get piercings that can and will mess up your teeth....even if you are 17 on spring break and think a tongue ring will be rad.