uh... i dunno bout you... but... just walking into the dentist... the sounds the smells... it makes my blood pressure skyrocket.
so... yeah... yesterday... friday the 17th of september.... was one of those dreaded trips... and prolly the most dreaded of all trips i have ever taken to the dentist.
so i walked in... wrote my name down...and smiled shyly at the people sitting next to me in the waiting room... you know... what you do when you approach a waiting room.
then as i was looking thru the super wrinkly and un-appealing magazine selection... my name was called... uh... well... "rebecca clark" was called... i refuse to go by rebecca in most situations...cuz its a pilgrim name...
ok... so they brought me back to operatory room #2...honestly... nothing good can happen in an operatory room in a dentist office.... they sat me down in the dusty blue dentist chair(the color was a dusty blue... it didn't have dust on it...just to clarify) ... and... took my blood pressure... i cannot imagine that anyone has good blood pressure while sitting in this chair... but... yeah... whatever...
then i sat and waited for the dentist... while watching... street court on tv... which basically made me hate people... and then a gentleman and his wife walked back...and past my door... um... then i hear him yelling... "OH MY HEAD!!!!! OHHHH NOOOOOO!!!! OHHHH!!!!".... awesome...
then... he was walked over to the xray rooms... and his wife was taking pictures of him while he was getting teeth xrays... so... weird... and obnoxious....finally they left....
then the dentist came in... he described things.... but mostly the stuff that stuck out in my head was... "quite a few shots in your cheeks and gums...that will be uncomfortable..." and... "yeah.... you will need something stronger than tylenol... we will hook you up... you will be in a bit of pain...(while wincing)"...so... another polite smile...masking my horror... while they reclined my chair....
it begins....
"ok first we are gonna numb the whole top of your mouth... this is going to include some shots in your gums... that will be painful."-dr p "mmmmhey"-me...his hands were in my mouth.
so yeah... six or eight shots later...."ok we will let that soak in... and be back... to numb your bottom of the mouth... and then take out your top teeth".....great something to look forward to....
street court was on tv... ridiculous... then...how i met your mother was on tv... a show i have never watched before...not too bad...i guess...well before he walked back in to pillage my mouth... i took a lil glance behind me and saw... yes... at least 20 different plier thingies in those sterile paper/plastic bag things.... at least 20... and a try of lots of sharp things... and needles and clear bottles...i may have had a slight stroke....but wouldn't have known cuz my face felt super droopy/drooly from the novicane.
ok... so... he came back and shoved things in my gums to make sure they were for real numb... then numbed the bottom jaw... and then started with the crunching and pulling and yanking of teeth.. top ones.. not to bad... bottom ones..................ummmmmmmm.....i thought he was gonna rip my jaw off... like...seriously... he even mentioned i may wanna hold onto my jaw so it doesn't get pulled too far... HOLY FUCK. yup. hurty. and then... uh... because of one of my teeth being "difficult to extract" he was like... i have to use this thing... its kinda noisy... and because i have dilusions of being a standup comic when in pain... i was like... oh... my kids are kinda noisy i'm used to it... so.. yeah... "the kinda noisy thing"=a drill. fucking balls...intense. yes... drilling and blood spatter... resulting in having to have a bunch of stitches...
well finally its done... and i asked him if i had any teeth left... and he laughed and said yes... i left quite a few in there still... i told him that i didn't wanna scare people with my jackolantern face and he promised me that you couldn't even tell...
a girl came in and wiped my face... like... intensely... so i'm guessing i looked like someone who had a bunch of teeth ripped and drilled outta their face...
uh... so yeah... i feel like i have learned a few lessons from this horror story.
1. be put out for teeth extractions... its intense... and you dont wanna know how rough they are... unless you like it rough.....but i do not when it comes to teeth rape.
2. try not to get mouth stitches caught in any other teeth cuz they will rip out... and not only will it hurt like a mother f-er but it will also feel like a spider is in your mouth which is creepy.
3. chewing with my bunny teeth is never gonna be the same... i loathe dentists.
4. never ever get piercings that can and will mess up your teeth....even if you are 17 on spring break and think a tongue ring will be rad.
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