so... you're having a baby. you are gonna give birth to a lil alien looking thing covered in goo.... doctors are gonna poke you...fist you... and maybe cut your taint... you will have to wear maxi-pads for a month and your tits will leak.
but... first... halfway thru... you have an ultrasound. now is your chance to find out if you are saving up for gaming systems or for a wedding.....so... you put on your facebook one of the following sentences:
"ultrasound today! can't wait to see the little one!"
"gonna see the baby today!"
"so excited for my ultrasound!"
"three hours till the ultrasound!"
and then........... it starts................ the comments:
"oh are you finding out what you're having?"
"yay! i'm so excited! are you gonna find out if its a boy or girl?"
blah blah... blah blah blah.
this is where i start to grit my teeth.
it is completely up to you...mom....if you want to know if your baby is a boy or girl (you thought i was gonna say something sassy instead of boy or girl...i was but...eh)
no dads... it isn't up to you... you mite kinda be leaning one way or another... but... ultimately... what your lady wants...she gets.
ok... that part isn't what i'm annoyed with.. its this following comment:
"its gonna be a surprise" (not that part...this part------>) "there are so few surprises in an adults life"
i hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate when people say that.
firstly because it sounds so superior and hoity toity (yeah... i broke out hoity toity...enjoy it)
but mostly cuz it is false.
if you want to be surprised. then be surprised....there are plenty of other surprises tho... so... do not think that if you miss out on this surprise you are cheating yourself in any way.
when the kid is born it will be a surprise what it looks like...even if you have a 3D ultrasound... cuz... ultrasounds make it look like your baby is made outta cottage cheese.
...your baby's personality...
...your baby's voice
...your baby's hair and eye color
all of these are a surprise....also... surprise hemarroids!
here are some non-baby related surprises:
surprise visits
surprise someone likes you
surprise car crash!
surprise your wifes been cheating on you!
surprise that creepy kid that sits in front of you in class washed his hair!
gifts...seeing someone you haven't seen in a while...new tv show...new job...a raise...surprise that brownie has nuts in it...
sneezes are a surprise...and once and a while...surprise! that sneeze made u pee a little!
so.. yeah... i have established that surprises happen every day. if you dont figure it out you are getting a lot of slightly feminine boy stuff or slightly masculine girl stuff....good luck with that.
done.
i used the words taint and "hoity toity" in the same blog....SUCCESS!
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