6.05.2009

i told you so. (random tidbits)

* in any television show featuring talking animals there is always a dog that doesn't talk...
* every kids show has an episode about hiccups...
* people somehow think it is ok to go up to you and touch your kids and talk to them and tell you they are cute....but no one thinks its ok to just go up to adult strangers and start touching them if you think they are cute.
* there is always someone at any event that will talk too close to your face...usually with coffee breath.
* without fail if you are out at a restaurant with a bunch of people who have been servers... you will have a crappy or sub par server....if you on a very rare occasion have a great server it may never happen again.
* if you are really trying to be careful about not spilling...you will find a stain on your clothes that you don't know how it got there.
* if you are unshowered, have sweatpants on, and or just look worse than you have ever looked...you will see someone you know.
* any time after you break up with someone you want to have a better life than your ex... no matter what... even if you broke up on good terms...you want to have a hotter new gf or bf.. you wanna have a better job, better house, you wanna get married and have kids first and if you do... you win... the wierd old relationship contest...also... something that helps you win is if your ex gets fat, ugly, or poor...a combo of all three is preferred
* fat girls love being pregnant cuz now they have an excuse for stuffing thier fat bellies
* most comedies where a man works his way into being a better person, he mistakes a fat girl as a pregnant girl...and/or he mistakes a old lady for a man
* most moms/grandmas can make a casserole outta anything by using a can of cream of mushroom soup
* no potluck is complete without: meatballs and cheesy potatoes...(some familys may substitute cocktail weenies in bbq sauce and potato salad)
* with same sex twins there is always an ugly one/fat one. no matter what...one will at some time be referred to as 'the ugly one' or 'the fat one'
* coming outta the closet has become such a production...thats dumb. you're gay or straight... who cares. ok so people care... but they really shouldn't...it shouldn't matter to anyone but the person they are trying to have sex with.
* there are too many cherry flavored suckers in a bag of suckers...this is my personal opinion... all the rest of these things are facts....
* all asian candy is peach flavored.
* saying 'in bed' after your fortune from your fortune cookie... is just tacky and obnoxious.
* men should maintain their eyebrows, ear hair, nosehair and nether region hair... but should never ever talk about it.
* pepsi is better than coke... unless it is coke from mcdonalds... their coke is unbelievable...
* there is no reason your underpants should show while wearing pants. (i am including pantylines)
* where the hell do those ghetto boys get those huge white t-shirts? seriously they are sooo huge! i personally think they wear them that big because during interrogations (on t.v....like the first 48) they put thier arms inside of thier shirts.(this drives me nuts and i dunno why)
* other people's kids are ugly and annoying. (besides the ones that i think are cute) but seriously... most people's kids... eh...

done. stop biting your nails.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I SO agree with many of your "facts"~! Like the man maintaining his hair in all places but not talking about it; and especially the robe/blanket vrs. the snuggly.... (maybe that was in the previous entry), but really, those things look like they will fall right off the minute you move and they are about as stylish as a Monk's robe~!

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