10.20.2009

i dont have time for this nonsense.

i have never had patience. ever. i dont want to wait for something that i could just go get now. if i want something bad enough i will just get it... which i realise makes me horrible to shop for.
i work fast....i drive fast....i paint fast...i crochet fast...i read incredibly fast.... if i like a show i want to watch every episode in a row rite now so i can see how the season ends. when the new harry potter books came out i would sit and read the whole book in one day cuz... i needed to...
when i sit i am one of those people who bounce their legs... i just wish i typed faster.... so that i could just get what i am thinking onto the screen as fast as i talk.
i get these idea's of outfits in my head that i want to wear... but then.... i dont own like... two pieces of the outfit....which makes me annoyed... and i just want to go to the store and buy them.... then if i get the chance to run to the store... usually the store doesn't have what i want... and it just adds to my impatience/annoyance.
if i know how to do something and have to watch someone else do it slower and not perfectly... i get super frustrated.
yes... my impatience is coupled with perfectionism....i want it done now... but also impeccably...
i would love to have a sleeve of tattoos... i realize that this take a few sittings and that drives me nuts cuz i would be perfectly fine sitting there for twelve hours if it meant that it would be all done at once. lol....
yeah... so get this for neurotic....
my impatience... and perfectionism... also comes with the need to please people....
so... if there is two people in line in front of me.... and i really just want them to hurry up.... when the person turns and mouths , "sorry" i say..."oh no big deal... seriously i'm in no hurry" but inside i am jumping outta my skin with annoyance.
this mite also be a part of the reason i hate pregnancy but dont mind giving birth... because when you are giving birth you are doing something that will make your baby come like... pretty soon... and when you are pregnant... you have to wait... and get fat... and you can't see your baby....(ultrasounds are ok... but.... my babies dont look like the blobby pictures on that computor screen...i dunno bout yours)
ok... also... i have a hard time making decisions.... which seems like it would make everything worse... which it does.... i dont wanna make the wrong decision that makes someone else unhappy... yet.... i want to hurry up and decide... so... i get super flustered when put on the spot. i do not do spur of the moment with grace....
i just... yeah... i know that all of this makes me seem like a super difficult person to deal with....
yeah... i'm pretty sure i have made other people secretly hate me...yes i said secretly... cuz not only am i all of these contradicting horrible things... i also... have close friends that people respect/are slightly intimidated by that make it so that it would be awfully hard to hate me out in the open.
yup. good luck. you mite think i'm a raging bitch... but you will prolly have to keep it to yourself.
HA! i win....which is something i'm completely happy with... as long as its quick and neat.

done.
got too much to do to be on this computor!

1 comment:

  1. lol. i love every part of your personality....and i am not just saying that either. I WISH i could clean faster....or maybe just have the motivation to do it??? lol. haven't read your blog in a while...looks like i have some catching up to do. thanks for the smile~

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